Kindness and compassion are everywhere –
One of the things I believe in most in this world is being kind and compassionate to others. You have no idea what other people have going on in their lives or inside their heads. The other great thing about them is that they are infectious – way more so than Covid-19!
Now I’m not a saint and I’m not saying I don’t find people annoying sometimes but I choose to be kind and compassionate whenever I can be.
I was in a shop the other day buying just a few things with the self scanner wand thingy (do these have a technical name?!) and when I got to the checkout it said I had to have a bag check. If you don’t know, this is to check you haven’t put something in your bag you haven’t scanned. I literally had 5 things in my bag – so I started feeling a little frustrated. Over comes the guy to check my shopping, now one thing I am missing with the masks we all have to wear are people’s smiles, but I could feel his smile radiating out from beneath his mask.
“This always happens when I only have a couple of things” I say. He looks in my bag sees the two packets of tomatoes and 3 tins of tomato soup and says “Well despite coronavirus *insert supermarket name here* still don’t want you stealing soup!” That made me smile, just that small throw away comment disipated my frustration and sent me away with a smile on my face.
I also have a dear friend who often does’t feel well so I try to check in on her with a message here and there to ask how she is. We have banned the answer ‘I’m fine’ from these messages because honestly I feel like it means ‘actually I feel pretty rough but I don’t want to burden anyone’.
If I’m asking someone how they are it’s because I want to know, if they are not feeling great I can’t always do anything to help but I can listen and be compassionate.
It makes me feel better so I nicer to other people and I also have a more productive day – so really it’s win win for everyone. Where could you show more kindness and compassion to others?
I saw an interesting post this morning –
It was about doing everything for other people doesn’t help them in the long run and actually it’s much better for you to help them to do things for themselves.
The mind monkeys in my brain have been busy chatting over the last week as I am putting together an offer at the moment around accountability telling me that no-one will be interested.
Then I saw that post this morning and realised that is fundamentally what I am offering – being a support system for people to help them do what they keep saying they want to do but don’t. Being a sounding board for them for ideas and helping them work out what they want and why they haven’t got it yet.
We can talk about manifestation, the law of attraction and vision boards but none of that stuff work if you don’t also take aligned action and this is where most people fall down.
I know it’s scary to put yourself out there, what if nobody likes my post, what if nobody buys my thing and on and on. My question to you is what if? What if all of that happens – by not doing it because of the “what if” you are already living that outcome.
Are you ready to step up for yourself and finally stop talking and start doing? If the answer is yes or even just a maybe ping me a DM and I promise you’ll be the first to hear about my new product launching in the next few days.
Do you feel the pressure?
It’s September tomorrow and this brings with it much change – probably more so this year than ever before. For many of you kids go back to school and daycare which can often be a stressful time without the added pressure Covid-19 brings this year.
With that you are also looking forward to some alone time – I suspect for some of you this will be the first time in months you will have consistent time without your children. Your to do list for you business is sat somewhere gathering dust and you have other to do lists as long as your arm (it’s ok to admit it we all do!)
Where do you start? Do you just get overwhelmed and give up? Is it all just too much? 
With someone keeping you accountable amazing things can happen I have had someone realised they needed to change how they planned their day and another easily worked her way through her resistance to exercise.
Then I got this message –
“Mary, I just realized that I’ve been drinking enough water for almost a week and have had no headaches at all and it’s all so easy thanks to your magic! As a stay at home mom I really love my independence but I need the outer pressure to do certain things! I love the group thank you so very much for this awesome community.”
Photo – just for fun but also to demonstrate my love of post it notes is real!
How much?!
My first big investment in myself, and I’m not talking about a car or a home I’m talking about personal development/self improvement, was to go on a 4 night retreat in May 2018 in Barcelona. It was a big investment for me but when I read an email from my mentor about it in February of 2018 it could have been written just for me. It spoke to me and having lost my beloved Father the year before I had been feeling for a while that I was ready for some kind of change but I didn’t know what. I just knew that something had to change.
I got on a clarity call with my mentor and the only thing that made me hesitate was the cost, but somehow I knew I had to be there so we worked out a payment plan and I signed on. It’s safe to say that the retreat changed my life and was the beginning of the beautiful journey of self discovery that I am now on. I’m so incredibly grateful to that version of Mary for saying yes. It was such an amazing experience that I signed up to go back the following year within a week of returning to the UK.
The thing about investing in yourself is it’s a commitment not just to the person you are paying but to yourself. Several other attendees commented to me how open and vulnerable I had been – to me it hadn’t even been a choice. If I was going to spend thousands of pounds on something then I was all in – however uncomfortable it got there was no hiding. I cried almost the entire time on that first retreat, and a fair amount on the second, but I was in such a safe place being held and supported but such incredible women it didn’t matter.
I have made even bigger investments since then in 1:1 coaching, training and a retreat in Bali next year which again made me feel both excited for the change that I knew would occur and sick about how much it was. I know now that that feeling is where we grow, if we stay doing what feels easy and comfortable we don’t grow we just plod along. I do not regret one penny of the money I have invested in myself and I am happier, healthier and more abundant because of it.
Being kind to yourself – 
I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather the last few days, partly from an allergic reaction and noticed something interesting about how I reacted to it. Old Mary would have obsessed over what caused it, what’s wrong, what can I take to make it better and pushing through with work to get everything done.
What actually happened was I listened to my body and knew I needed to slow down to let it recover from whatever had happened. I did the work I needed to do on the day and let myself off my exercise goals. By 9pm I was falling asleep sitting up so put myself to bed and had the best night’s sleep I’ve had in weeks.
Today I am feeling much better although not 100% so I am been kind and gentle to myself and working from my bed (aside from my video call shortly I will make it to my office for that 😉 )
My change in thinking has come from incredible work I have done with my mentor Laura on subconscious transformation which I myself am now in training to deliver to you.
Previous coaching client feedback –
“Mary – you have unleashed a beast! I think there was some fairy dust in that coaching session.”
“That was so great, so relaxed that I forgot it was a coaching call but looking back over my notes we worked through loads. You made it very easy for me to just talk through where I am at and what’s stopping me moving forward.”
5 years ago…
You know how facebook shows you your memories and you click on it and you might laugh or feel sad, this weekend I was shocked!
5 years ago I was working really hard 24 hours a day (with a break) 6 days a week usually with newborn twins. A job I loved but had been doing for 8 years and I was tired and remember thinking this is the last set of twins I’m ever going to look after – it wasn’t!
My memories from 5 years ago reminded me how shockingly awful I felt back then despite being tired from work I couldn’t sleep, my mind would race and I could feel my heart pumping furiously – honestly I thought I might be having a mid-life crisis. My hand was very painful from a tendon issue that I would end up having surgery for the following summer and life just sucked.
Fast forward to now – and when I was reminded of how unhappy I was I wish I had known what I know now. You don’t have to live like that you get to start again any time you want, you get to choose. Everything is a choice and if you don’t choose to change you are choosing to stay where you are.
Let me just say that again – If you don’t choose to change you are choosing to stay where you are.
Back then my body was litteraly screaming at me to stop but I carried on because “sometimes life’s a bit s**t and you just have to suck it up”.
I am telling you now this is not true you can choose to change your life and start again. You can start again today and if you fall back into bad habits guess what…you can start again tmrw, and the next day and the day after that. I have had many false starts to get to where I am now with an online business I love (that’s a story for another day 😉 ) but I kept choosing everyday to get one step closer to what I wanted.
So tell me what are you choosing today?
Accountability anyone?
I referred to myself yesterday as the ‘Accountability Queen’!!
So I guess the secrets out 😉 I love organisation. I meal plan, I have an unhealthy obsession with post it notes and have a daily, weekly and monthly to do list!
This is what works for me and I know for many of you your to do list never seems to get any shorter. In fact when you cross 1 or 2 things off it you always find 5 more to add onto the bottom. This leaves you feeling stressed and like you haven’t achieved anything.
Enter the Accountability Queen 👑 I love and am really good at holding people accountable to what they say they are going to do. In a loving, kind way and only some very gentle butt-kicking when needed.
What are the three things you wish everybody knew?
I was posed this question last week and while it has the potential to be a stumper and lead to hours agonising over what these three things would be, the answers flowed from my pen like water coming out of a tap. So I am going to share them with you…
You can always start again – no really. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second if you are not happy with how things are going you can choose to start again. We all know the dreaded new year resolutions where we state what we are going to change about ourselves, join a gym, go on a diet, see friends every week…and how long does that last? February maybe March if you’re lucky and when you miss a day or a week you feel guilty. What magnetic hold does January 1st hold over us – why can’t we start to exercise more on a Thursday in the middle of May? The truth is you can – choose to start again!
Kindness and compassion are infectious – way more so than Covid-19! We have had a glimpse of this in recent months with lockdown, strangers helping strangers, neighbours being friendlier and random people saying hello as you were out for your daily exercise. I find when I have, however small, an interaction with someone that make me smile or laugh it changes the rest of my day in a positive way.
You are worthy exactly as you are.
I’m going to say that again…
You are worthy exactly as you are – you may not have thought about this but I ask you to consider your thoughts on your own worthiness. We often don’t feel we are worthy to have this, or do that, or be the kind of person who…I’ll let you into a secret you were born worthy we all were. Dream big baby you are worthy and deserving of it all.
And I’m feeling good – 
I was talking to someone the other day about how we get so much more done when we feel good.
Case in point it’s 8:45am (as I write this) I’ve been awake since 6am and have done my meditation, hypnosis, bounced (my exercise, I have a rebounder that I love 😍), set up my work Facebook page, had breakfast, got ready for the day and now I’m back bouncing again before I start work at 9am.
I feel freaking amazing and none of this has been hard. It’s been easy, exciting even. This was not a conscious decision to get up early and get shit done I woke up raring to go.
I know this is all down to the subconscious transformation work I have done. The changes have literally been life changing and this is why I am training to be a subconscious transformation coach so I can facilitate this change in others.

Are you worthy of being on this call?

This was a question I was asked last year whilst doing some coaching with my mentor. I immediately said yes and then found myself justifying why I was worthy of the money I had spent and how I would make it back again. Then my mentor said to me ‘you are worthy of everything just because you are’.  We all have those moments in life when we know we made a significant change in our path. Looking back this was one of those for me. I was given an exercise for when I was on the tube train commuting to my job to look at people and say to myself ‘I am equal to them, I am as worthy as them’. It would always make me smile.  Now I don’t recall ever saying to myself that I was unworthy, but certainly some of my self talk was circling around the subject looking back.  Fast forward to now when I know that I am worthy of significant investment in myself, I have just signed up for more coaching. I am worthy of every and any damn thing I want!

Are you worthy?

I’d love to know how that question makes you feel – comment or slide into my DM’s I totally get that it’s not an easy subject sometimes but I see you and I was you.